He was a walking talking Red flag, but red means love.

Dear you,

Subject: He was a walking talking Red flag, but red means love.

Let’s jump straight to the subject matter.

You saw all the red flags. You wrote everything in your daily journal, and you still trusted him more than yourself. What went wrong? Don’t tell me you stayed in a long-distance relationship with him waiting for him. OH, YOU DID? Did you love him more than yourself? OH MY GOD.

Did he play mind games? And did he tell you that he love you every single day? Did he tell you that you are the center of his world and he revolves around you? Did he cry when he vomited these lies? Was he crying when he told you this?

If your answer to all that is yes, So why wasn't that wicked planet revolving around you and picking up your call?

Let’s try again,

Did he tell you that his life was untenable without you, and he has to sleep with medication when you stop picking up? And did you suddenly start having an anxiety attack because you couldn’t help him? I see a red flag.

But red means stop and wait at the signal. So you stop and beg.

Do you even know what he was doing when he told you that he was dying of sharp pain in his chest because you weren’t talking to him? He was already in 4 months relationship with a new woman. You didn’t know that then. I will give you that loophole. Ok, so what did he do next, as he was dying with sharp chest pain now that he can’t live without you? He suddenly disappears into a void and does not pick up your call after you answer to him only ONCE. Major red flag!!!

But the red is auspicious in Teej for Nepali women, so he is now a husband material.

You knew exactly how he was feeling. You could feel it. You loved him so much that you knew he broke up with you only after he had found a new star to revolve around. Your lie-detecting radar was strong, but nope he never lies.

“He swore on his mom’s name that he had no one,” you gaslighted yourself with his statement, and you tried for 3 months to fix things between you two. stooooooopid move.

I love you but I can’t marry you because I have this toxic culture that I can only marry after my sister gets married, but I love you. So, I will dedicate my 10 years to helping you grow. I don’t think I will ever marry anyone because I love you !! Ok, bro, what does that even mean?

You trusted him and his words, so it confused you because it did not match his effort, and the confusion turned into frustration and resentment. He made you feel discarded. RED FLAG!!!!

But oops, red is your favorite color. Mine, too.

Ok, now, do you feel you made few stupid moves? Like really stupid moves? I can hear him laughing from afar. Oh, this wahman is chasing me. Haha. she is psychotic. Haha, nice. Do you know how you existed for him? You were just his ego boost. He will come to you, cry, and tell you he loves you, and you will believe his crocodile tears more than your gut feeling. So he got everything going for him. He is a walking talking red flag.

But he looks good with the red flag he wears like a shirt. Every. Single. Day. I bet his shirt stinks like poop.

You shared your feelings with him. You fought with him every day in hopes that he would make an effort to change how unwanted he made you feel? Your feelings were overwhelming. He would hurt you but start crying first. Everything was so confusing and twisted. His “I love you” didn’t feel genuine, but the boy said he will die with sharp chest pain, so he probably loves you. I see red.

But the song “ I see red” from the movie 365 days is also your favorite song, so everything is all good.

“Oh, you have to go for masters. Let me help you with the application,” he said. But I think you were just a project he was managing. And he was trying to brand himself as the kind-hearted savior that fixes broken people and helps them grow. And you thought he loved you because he was always there.

What did you learn from this all? Hmmm, shut down and never love again? Nooooo. Love is beautiful. You give love to others, and you receive. If there is no reciprocation, you leave, sis. You love hard, and you love a lot. Don’t let a looser change your ability to love. But you love yourself more. You put yourself first. You trust your gut, and you trust yourself more than anyone.

How do you break the cycle of manipulation and emotional abuse? Even if you feel something is wrong, talk to your friend about it. Suppose you have no one to talk to. Go to therapy. Or even better, write a journal. And have a weekly self-reflection session. You analyze what went down like you are doing right. Observe things as it is and learn. You need to grow. In this way, you won’t take 4 years to learn a simple lesson.

Love yourself first. Put yourself first. Self-love and self-confidence is the key that will help you to escape many manipulators.

By the way, whenever you see red, you leave.

With some hard love,

Yourself.